I’m finding my way

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It’s my two month “blogaverserie”!!!! I know I’m still finding my way, and I’m still super new at this, but I’m so thrilled that I took the leap and just did it. Over the course of the past two months I’ve shared some of my story with you, I’ve allowed myself to get real, raw, and honest. I’ve been nervous, I’ve wondered if I’m over sharing, if I’m talking about the right things, if you find me even remotely interesting. I’ve asked my self time and again if I’m talking about the miscarriages too much. I’ve over thought a lot!

Yet, at every point along the way I’ve tried to turn it over to God and ask that he use me as a tool to share the parts of my life that will connect with another person, to use the parts of my story that will help someone out that might be experiencing or feeling what I am or what I once did. Each time I’ve surrendered to this process I’ve ultimately connected with some pretty amazing and beautiful women. Women who have miscarried in the past and felt alone in that experience, women who were in the process of miscarrying and needed a shoulder to lean on, women who were just like me trying to make sense of it all.

I feel like through the worst experience of my life I have managed to stumble upon my strength…when I felt like I had truly lost it. I have managed to find hope and something good in it all. I don’t know if part of God’s plan was so I could share my personal story to help other women, but it makes my heart full knowing that I am. I promise that I will always be here, with shoulders to lean on, and ears to listen. Miscarriage is awful. Let’s be real it’s worse than awful. There really isn’t an adequate word to describe just how incredibly awful it is. But there are so many of us Miscarriage Mamas out there, and together we can bear this often times overwhelming load.

I know I haven’t been posting as frequently as I was initially. I could list all the reasons why…there’s a bunch of them. But I was ultimately having a hard time finding my words. I was trying to follow the rules of what kind of content I should post. I was trying to fit into the blogging box that all those “so you think you can blog” posts on Pinterest make you believe you need to fit into. Not anymore. Check ya laterrr box! On my two month blogaverserie I am reminding myself and declaring to you that from this point forward I’m letting Jesus take the wheel. Lord knows where this will take us…literally. I might not follow all the rules. I might not always say what I’m “supposed” to say. But I will always say what’s in my heart. I will always be real, raw, and honest with you.

Thank you all so much for joining me on the journey. I appreciate all of the kind words, the open and honest sharing, and getting to know you all. I’m excited to see where this all leads us next.

As always remember if you are hurting right now, if you’ve experienced miscarriage or a loss or trauma of any kind, my heart is with you and I am sending you so much love.

xoxo -Marieke

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